Who is part of Generation Intact? All of the lucky little intact boys who are being born today! The tide is turning on forced infant circumcision, and nearly half of American boys are leaving the hospital with their whole bodies. We celebrate the parents who do their research, the social media users who share information and graphics, the activists who protest on streets, and anyone else who promotes the message that boys are born perfect too! This page contains resources for kids who are growing up with whole bodies, siblings of intact brothers, and parents who are raising kids with respect for genital autonomy.
What if my older son is circumcised?
Parents who discover the truth about infant circumcision commonly ask, "If my younger son is intact, and my older son is circumcised, what do I say to each of them about it?" Each child and situation is different, but we lovingly offer the following points to guide you in this discussion:
Honestly communicate what your mindset was when you made the decision to circumcise. Did you know there were reasons not to do it? Were you pressured by medical staff? Though it may be difficult, you will not regret telling your son the truth and letting him know that you were doing what you thought was best for him at the time.
Explain your journey and how you came to understand that circumcision was a choice you did NOT want to make again.
Remind your boys of how much they love each other. An older brother would never want his younger brother to be hurt or have something cut from him just because the mistake was made to his own body.
Teach them to love and respect the bodies they have and the bodies of others. A child may have a body part missing for a number of reasons, and this does not need to define them. Model for them a positive body image no matter what they look like, and teach them to be proud of who they are.
This article, Teach Your Children About Genital Autonomy, may also be helpful.
When your son needs medical care, you need to be sure that the doctor, nurse, or any emergency room staff know not to retract his foreskin. These are helpful resources for the medical care of intact boys.
Matching Shapes Game
Your Whole Baby Coloring Page
What if my son notices that our penises don't match?
We applaud you for keeping your son whole even though you are circumcised. Many fathers struggle with this concept for a variety of different reasons. Despite the fact that not matching made you uncomfortable, you put your son and his right to genital integrity first.
A few tips on handling the "not matching" question:
Your son will probably notice differences of size and hair before he notices the difference in foreskin. When he is very young, you can stick with a simple "everyone's body looks different."
You can say, "When I was born, people believed that it was healthier to take foreskins off with surgery. When you were born, we learned that isn't true at all! You were born with foreskin, and you still have it!"
Tell him that his body is perfect the way it is. Throughout his whole life he will look different from others in many ways. Teach him confidence and body positivity. Teach him the same for others' bodies.
If dad was circumcised for religious reasons, tell your son that you want him to decide for himself if his body is going to conform to any religion. When he grows up, he can make a change like that for himself.
Finally, emphasize all the positive ways that you can match or be alike! Match your outfits, cool hats, or temporary tattoos, play the same instrument or sport, or get your son a tool bench, a computer, or a little car so he can be JUST like his dad!