5 Myths About Intact Penis Care You Might Believe
/This piece was originally published on Welcome Mama, a holistic directory for expectant and new parents in Western New York.
More and more U.S. parents are opting to leave their bouncing babies with all their functioning parts these days — this includes the foreskin of the penis! The decision to leave a baby’s penis intact (not circumcised) often brings with it many fears and questions. Here are five common worries that expectant parents have when it comes to taking care of their kids’ parts . . . debunked.
Myth #1: You need to pull it back to clean.
The idea that parents should be attempting to pull back the foreskins of their children is a dangerously pervasive myth. Why is it dangerous? Simple: The foreskin of a child’s penis is typically fused to the head of their penis by a protective membrane (you can think of it as the penile version of a hymen). This membrane doesn’t dissolve until an average age of 10 ½ years. Trying to pull the foreskin back before the membrane is gone can result in pain and trauma, bleeding, scarring, and sometimes paraphimosis, a medical emergency. (Plus, it’s awkward. “C’mere kiddo, time to clean your penis again.”) When you change your intact child’s diaper or give them a bath, there’s no special penis cleaning involved. If there’s poop on their penis, just wipe the outside from base to tip. The foreskin tip acts like a sphincter muscle, closed tightly except during urination — despite what you may have heard, no lint will get trapped!
Ironically, this “only clean what is seen rule” does not apply to circumcised children. If a baby has had their foreskin torn and cut away, the parent is instructed to lubricate the exposed head and pull back the remnants of wounded tissue that often re-adhere to it, at every diaper change, until healing is complete. Even with the most diligent parents, circumcised kids often experience unnatural adhesions and skin bridges that cause problems into adulthood.
Myth #2: It should be retractable by (insert random age here): 3 months/6 months/1 year/3 years/5 years/8 years/10 years/etc.
See #1. The average age of full foreskin retractability is 10 ½, and like with most developmental milestones, there’s a wide range of normal. Sometimes preschoolers can retract their foreskins; sometimes pubescent teenagers can’t yet. Both scenarios are normal. In any event, the only person who should retract a child’s foreskin is the child, after the membrane has naturally separated. Even when the foreskin is retractable, there’s no need for your kid to pull it back and rinse during baths/showers until puberty hormones kick in. (If you’re worried, I promise, they figure it out themselves.)
Myth #3: There’s a heightened risk of childhood/adult infections, so meticulous hygiene is a must.
This is a myth left over from Victorian era medicine. A handful of folks desperate to continue the child circumcision ritual regularly kick dead research horses, attempting to suggest that routine amputation of a normal body part is based in sound science. But this view ignores the truth that the inner foreskin and head of the penis are mucous membranes, part of the body’s first line of defense against pathogens. It also disregards any inherent worth in this erogenous, self-lubricating, mobile, specialized adult sexual tissue. In our modern era, circumcision has been dubbed “the cure in search of a disease.” Fortunately, the international consensus is in: routine infant circumcision is not recommended. The best way to ensure your child’s genitals stay healthy is to leave them alone. Soap and aggressive scrubbing are bad news for anyone’s genitals, as adults with vaginas can attest!
Myth #4: It’s so much work.
There’s literally NO WORK. It is easier to care for an intact child’s penis than a circumcised one. The main challenge you may face is keeping everyone else’s hands off! (Find resources for protecting your child at the doctor’s and at daycare here.)
Myth #5: It will be harder to get my child to leave that appendage alone!
Parents of children with intact and circumcised penises alike are all too familiar with how much interest kids can take in their own private parts. Parents of kids with vulvas are all too familiar with this as well! Self-exploration is normal and healthy for all children, and it’s also a wonderful opportunity for learning about boundaries and privacy (A.K.A. “This is something you can do in your own room, but not in Aunt Myrna’s living room.”) In a larger sense, we can help our children with appropriate boundary-setting and boundary-respecting skills by allowing them agency over their own sexuality — granting them ownership of the healthy, functional parts they were born with, and letting those parts develop on their own time, free from unnecessary or harmful intervention.
If you're seeking more information about intact care, foreskin functions, and circumcision-related issues — this includes parents struggling with a previous decision to circumcise — join Your Whole Baby’s Community Facebook group.